CRACK!

The cracks appear about two weeks in. Small things, nothing worse than what's already there. I light up a smoke, get a glass of whiskey and think to myself, "Whatever. I can handle it." And I do. For another week. The cracks get bigger, and I think, "Fine, I'll go out tomorrow and get them all fixed up."

I go out the next day. No improvement. They're still there. And they get bigger. It's like a huge joke, that I try to fix them up and they just get worse. I try harder. I call friends, talk to some on the internet, play games, I keep my mind busy. And they get worse. They're bigger, they go deeper, almost down to the foundation now. I try like a maniac to plaster them up, trying everything I know. Games, Anime, Music, Porn, Movies, TV Shows, Writing, Reading... Nothing makes it better. I can hear it now... Crack. Crack. Crack. Shit, shit, shit!

Frantically, I try. Nothing. Big fucking joke on my, he harder I try, the worse they get. I'm left, cowering in a dark corner, as what I've striven to build for over ten years is being broken down in a matter of weeks. Each loud, ringing noise making me cringe, withdrawing further into myself, withdrawing from everything. I can see them running jagged through my vision, like Tohno Shiki could see the existence of things. I wish I had his glasses.

Finally, it happens. One more resounding blow, and it shatters, jagged pieces raining down on my, cutting into me and littering the floor. And everything outside, everything I tried to hold away, comes roaring in, laughing at the pitiful little boy hiding the corner, tromping over the remains of what I had thought I could finally build.

And thus I cower in the ruins of my sanity.

(NOTE: Previously posted on Facebook)